Tuesday, May 31, 2011

ALL AT ONCE

For Pongo Teen Writing


ALL AT ONCE
I see my father in the eyes of an incarcerated teen

For nine years I’ve been without a compass, yet somehow
found myself

Standing in a predawn kitchen letting my son smear jelly on my forehead
like a blessing

I listen to late night traffic for counsel

And if wind takes my smoke sideways

I reach out a hand and close my eyes

But with a house and wife, baby and dog, university degrees and leased Subaru

The space for loss has shrunk

I’m glutted on ease and fortune

The domino effect of privilege has taken a hold of my life

The sweet stink of gore, the tangled limbs in the trench, the sheets of rain that cloak the enemy as he bears down

Have no place on this beach

Each year it’s getting easier and easier

Which scares me because 

I don’t want to wear a smile back to war

And I know it's coming

All at once.

1 comment:

Julie said...

Beautiful. I enjoyed your reading of it too.